Börnatfiglheu dobberpuhling

My dear fellow Talossans, I come before you with some extremely grave and unsettling news.

Friday morning, the day before yesterday, the Secretary of State pointed out to me some anomalies in a small group of Wittenberg accounts, six or seven accounts that seemed to be logging in from the same IP addresses. This wouldn’t have been alarming in itself, except that some of the accounts belonged to people in North Carolina and others to people in Michigan, who would certainly not be using the same IPAs. I investigated, and with the greater information available to me as Witt Admin than that available to Sir Iustì, I discovered the problem to be far more serious than Sir Iustì had realized.

The facts are these.

One of our citizens, Eiric S. Börnatfiglheu, has been running 17 different Wittenberg accounts, besides his own, as "sock puppets", all under different names. 15 of his puppets have become citizens. All 18 accounts (his and the 17 puppets’) have been posting sometimes from IPA 152.27.34.201 (which traces to the North Carolina Research and Education Network in Jacksonville, North Carolina) and most often from IPA 174.106.140.126 (which traces to an Internet Service Provider called Road Runner, also in Jacksonville, North Carolina), even though the supposed owners of the accounts live and in some cases work in North Carolina, Michigan, South Carolina, Georgia, New York, Maine, Iowa, and England. Börnatfiglheu lives in Jacksonville, North Carolina, where he works for Coastal Carolina Community College, whose Internet Connections are provided through the North Carolina Research and Education Network. The times and dates at which Wittenberg postings were made from these 18 accounts are closely coordinated. When Börnatfiglheu is active on Wittenberg, so are the 17 puppets; when he's away or inactive, so are all of them; whenever one of them posts something, the others are also likely to post, but long periods pass when none of them posts anything. Whichever IPA he is using at the moment, all the sock puppets use also. The typographical styles of all 18 are quite similar, with certain unusual features in common; ditto their verbal styles.

The sock puppets – 15 citizens and 2 prospectives (the Sawins) – are:

William Beng (Vitxalmour Estinc-Vatna)
Judah Benjamin (Iudas Levì Bentxamì)
Barb Carlin (Barbrà da Carolin)
Sasha Carlyle (Xandreta da Luguvaliüm)
Aaron Clyburn (Aharon Quintana)
Robert Dumenil (Roibeard Istefan Sandart)
Sariah Gipson (Sarac’h Txilvertescu)
Vernon Larsen (Veirnarac’h Lorentzescu)
Caity Lawson (Catrina Curganescu)
Thomas Rushing (Tomás Cariana)
Cameron St Clair (Oltatsch Santa Cjara)
Sven Sawin
Thor Sawin
Benedict Stamford
Nikki Theocharidou (Michi Merþedes da Bheat)
Morris Van Rossum (Moritz Vandalutz d’Ialiüm)
Sandra Yalmin (Sondra Lomaira)

It is possible that some of these people actually exist. For instance, both Thor and Sven Sawin seem to be real people, and are both from the area of Fife Lake and Traverse City, Michigan (where Börnatfiglheu used to live), but they have both moved out of the area. Sven – the real Sven, that is –, works in Ann Arbor, Michigan (not as a bait shop owner in Fife Lake), and Thor is a graduate instructor and PhD candidate in linguistics in South Carolina (not working for the local school district in Fife Lake). So while it’s possible that some of the other names are those of actual people, and it’s even possible some of those people gave Börnatfiglheu permission to use their names, they never posted anything except from one of Börnatfiglheu’s usual IPAs, never joined the Kingdom, never actually became citizens. It was all lies.

Observation through the last couple of evenings reveals Börnatfiglheu’s pattern. Last night, for instance, he logged into his own account at 19:11 (Talossan time), made a posting at 19:11, then logged off at 19:17. Immediately, using the same IPA (174.106.140.126), Benedict Stamford logged on, and off again at 19:18. Then Börnatfiglheu logged on again from 19:18 to 19:29 and from 19:34 to 19:38, making a post at 19:34. Then Sariah Gipson logged onto the same IPA at 19:38, off at 19:48, on again at 19:56, made a post (including rude comments about Börnatfiglheu – part of his game) at 19:56, and logged off one minute later. Thor Sawin logged in, on the same IPA, from 20:11 to 20:16, posting at 20:14; then Börnatfiglheu again from 20:20 to 20:34. And so on, all evening. Gipson, Börnatfiglheu, Lomaira, Larson, Börnatfiglheu again, Thor Sawin, back and forth, all from the same internet connection, one after the other in quick succession.

This deception has been going on at least since early last summer.

The evidence against Börnatfiglheu is overwhelming and absolutely conclusive. (I will of course be making it all public, quite soon.) He has violated the Anti-Imposter and Liar Act (36RZ10) hundreds of times. He has subverted the Talossan electoral system, with eight of his sock puppets voting in the last General Election (all eight for the ZRT), and one of them currently being a ZRT Member of the Cosa. He has played us all for fools, most especially his own political party – which he has betrayed and manipulated – and the College of Arms, having used an enormous amount of volunteer time in obtaining Grants of Arms for most of his sock puppets. He has violated the trust of the entire country.

Anyone with an enabled Witt account can edit or delete his own posts; so in order to preserve the evidence, on Saturday morning I directed the Chancery to obtain an ex parte order to have the 18 accounts suspended. That order was issued by Justice Ian Tamoran, and I as Witt Admin have obeyed it.

After suspending the 18 accounts to preserve the evidence, I (just a few minutes ago) phoned Börnatfiglheu, outlined the evidence against him, and asked him to confess. My thinking was that he could save us all vast amounts of trouble if he would just admit what he’d done. He apologized and said he would “come clean”. I don’t know whether he intends to renounce his citizenship. (If not, I would expect the Attorney General to bring charges against him.) I offered to make a new Wittenberg account available to him if he had anything he wanted to say to everyone; he didn’t seem sure whether he wanted that. We left it that he could let me know.

For what it’s worth – and I’ve closely read almost all the Wittenberg posts made from all the sock puppet accounts ¬– I am personally convinced that this was a one-man operation. I haven’t seen any reason to suspect the involvement of anyone but Börnatfiglheu himself; this is not the tip of some great conspiratorial iceberg. Things being what they are, there will no doubt be political fallout from this mess, coming as it does shortly before a General Election; but nobody should think that the ZRT as a party was in on the deception, nor yet that the RUMP somehow orchestrated its revelation as what we Americans have come to call an “October surprise”. This was Börnatfiglheu, probably without anyone else’s knowledge, acting by himself for his own motives – which may have involved politics, but I think probably were mostly to make himself feel like some kind of big shot, deceiving and manipulating people who liked and trusted him.

I know you’re all shocked. So am I. This is shocking news. We’ll get through it, though.

– John Regeu

Advice to Witt Posters

The Office of the Minister of Immigration
________________________

L'Óifisch del Ministreu d’Inmigraziun


Azul! 
My fellow Talossans I must bring this issue up with all of you. 
There has been a LOT of bickering, mud slinging, and overall unpleasant behavior as of late on this forum. This NEGATIVE behavior is driving away prospective citizens. I have gotten e-mails from prospective citizens that tell me they are not interested in pursuing citizenship because they thought that Talossa was a fun, on-line place to belong, not a place to feel stressed or even feel that they have to side one way or another. There may not be any pushing by any one person, side or group however, when reading the recent threads I can understand how an outsider may feel like this, and why they do not want to join. 

Look at some of the recent threads and ask yourself from an outsiders position what it says to you.

Audradâ d'Aurìbuérg

Preposterous Statement Contest

The RUMP would like to welcome everyone to the First Annual Preposterous Statement Contest!

To start off, anyone who wishes to become a contestant, will have until 11PM TST, on the 31st of January, to nominate themselves on this thread.

All of the contestants will then have until 11PM TST, on the 16th of February, to submit their most preposterous statement they made in 2012, on Wittenberg to; contest@kingdomoftalossa.net. It must include the Date and the Thread Topic it was on!

The three judge panel of; Gödafrïeu Válcadác’h, Eiric S. Börnatfiglheu, and S:reu Iustì Carlüs Canun, UrGP, will then have one week to agree on a winner.

The top three entries will be posted on this thread at the end of the contest, with the grand prize winner receiving a specially made plaque.

Pôl d'Aurìbuérg
Distain

Change in Cabinet

The Office of the Prime Minister
__________________________

L'Óifisch dal Seneschal

Cabinet Change Recommendations

I come now before the throne seeking an audience to recommend the appointment of Ministers to Your Majesty’s Government.

The following Talossans have proven through their abilities, hard work, dedication, loyalty, and most of all their Talossanity that they will serve the nation well as Ministers in Your Majesty's Government.

Therefore, I, Çesli da Chilseu, with all duly vested authority and stuff, hereby recommend that Your Gracious Majesty appoint these loyal subjects to the following cabinet posts:


Pöl d'Aurìbuérg
to the position of
Distain


Béneditsch Ardpresteir
to the position of
Attorney-General


Audradâ d'Aurìbuérg
to the position of
Minister of Immigration


Confident that the Crown will consent to accept these wise recommendations, may I be the first to congratulate each of the newly appointed Ministers and I wish them every success in their Ministries. I look forward to working with y'all.


Çesli da Chilseu
Seneschal

Proclamation of Mourning: Connecticut School Shooting

The Office of the Prime Minister
__________________________

L'Óifisch dal Seneschal

Proclamation of Mourning

With all the changes that are going on in the kingdom, it pains me that this is my first order of duty as your new Seneschal. As many of you have heard, or will shortly hear, yet another act of senseless violence has taken innocent lives in Connecticut. Innocence lends horror to violence, and none are more innocent than our children. It is with great empathy for the friends and families of the deceased, and with horror at the actions that have caused the need for empathy, that I issue this Proclamation of Mourning for the kingdom. My heart and the heart of the nation goes out to all involved. 


WHEREAS the loss of innocent life is horrible and always to be mourned, and

WHEREAS none are more innocent than children, and

WHEREAS the people of the Kingdom of Talossa are to be counted on to stand strong against needless violence, 

THEREFORE the government of the Kingdom of Talossa calls upon all its citizens to observe a period of mourning extending through the 15th of December 2012, for the victims of elementary school shooting in Connecticut. We offer our thoughts and prayers for the innocent lives lost, and to those who survive them. 

Done with the deepest sympathy for our friends and neighbors in Connecticut on this, the fourteenth day of December in the year 2012, being the thirty-third year of the independence of Talossa and the sixth of the reign of our Sovereign John.

Çesli da Chilseu
Seneschal

Resignation of the Seneschal

Fellow Talossans --

One hour ago, at 12:12:12 Talossan Time on 12/12/12, being the thirty-second Llimbaziua (and also known as Sound Check Day), I tendered my resignation as Prime Minister to His Majesty the King, who accepted it with some reluctance. This step, coming as it does at the end of my term as President of the Comità del Útzil del Glheþ, is something that I have discussed with members of my party and the government for the past month or so.

It has been a distinct pleasure to serve again as the Prime Minister for this wonderful nation, and the decision to step aside was not one that was made lightly. I have come to feel, however, that with events outside the nation taking much of my time, I am currently not able to serve with the dedication required from a Seneschal, and that the nation would be better served by a fresh leadership team less encumbered by outside responsibilities and obligations.

The Right Honourable Distain, Çesli da Chilseu, having indicated her readiness and willingness to do so, is now the 40th Seneschal of the Kingdom of Talossa, and after the administration of her oath of office, will settle into her duties, beginning with appointing her own replacement in the position of Distain.

S:r Pôl d'Aurìbuérg takes over, effective immediately, as Party Leader of the RUMP.

The trappings of my office (especially all the mail I get, the duties of prodding the Immigration Minister incessantly, trying to resist the urge to go back to doing his job so that it gets done, and the Website updating responsibilities) will be transferred to their new owners over the next days and weeks.

I thank the nation for honouring me with the chance to lead the government, which I leave in good hands. I further trust in the fact that the future of Talossa is as bright as or brighter than ever (as long as the world doesn't end in nine days like so many TV shows would like us to believe).

In leaving office, I am proud to become the first Talossan Prime Minister to have been both preceded and followed in office by a female. I offer Prime Minister da Chilseu my very best wishes for success in the remainder of the Cosa, confident that the trust given her is well-placed.

Hooligan

IA Award: Txec Róibeard Nordselva

The Office of the Minister of Immigration
________________________

L'Óifisch del Ministreu d’Inmigraziun

Immigration Award Speech by the Minister of Immigration


My Fellow Talossans,

The Ministry of Immigration has always strived to the culture and spirit of upbringing incoming Citizens into a nation dedicated to the idea of fun, culture, and excellence beyond all others. The belief that Talossans hold such values so dearly, that they wish to share that spirit with Prospectives, is one that shows pure dedication and loyalty to the nation. Today, we celebrate the dedication of one such Talossan, who has given up much of his time to the successful upbringing of prospective citizens, and through his guidance and support, has become full citizens of the kingdom.

Txec Róibeard Nordselva has shown the dedication and support a prospective citizen needs to become a full citizen. When Txec was a prospective not too long ago, Pôl d'Aurìbuérg was his TALOSSAssistant, and in September 2012, Txec became a citizen of our great Kingdom.

When asked, “What do you like best about helping prospective citizens in their journey to citizenship?” Txec’s answer was, “I like helping prospects because they are our nations future.”

As I know those of who who are still reading are probably falling asleep. So, without further ado, In accordance to the requirements set down by the Minister of Immigration, It is with great pleasure to announce to the Kingdom, that Txec Róibeard Nordselva has Officially received the Immigration Achievement Award, for helping a total of 5 Prospective citizens gain full citizenship. We thank you for your continued Support.


Signed by the hand of the Minister of Immigration this 26th day of November, in the year of the common era 2012, in the 6th year of the reign of our gracious sovereign King John, and of the independence of Talossa the 33rd.