Pardon of Strikes

I hereby pardon any strike incurred from anyone's not voting during the election of 1 January 2014.

— John R

Appointment of a Seneschal

We JOHN by the Grace of God King of Talossa and of all its Realms and Regions, King of Cézembre, Sovereign Lord and Protector of Pengöpäts and the New Falklands, Defender of the Faith, Leader of the Armed Forces, Viceroy of Hoxha and Vicar of Atatürk, do hereby appoint our well-beloved S:reu Glüc da Dhi to serve as Seneschal of the Kingdom of Talossa, his term in office to begin immediately. We are confident of S:reu da Dhi's loyalty to the nation, and of his ability both to fulfill the obligations intendant upon Our First Minister and to command the confidence of the 46th Cosa.

We extend our thanks to S:reu da Dhi for agreeing to serve Our Kingdom in this new capacity, and also to the leaders of the four Parties represented in the 46th Cosa for their assistance in Our deliberations regarding this appointment.

Done under Our hand Royal at Our palace at the city of Centennial in Colorado, this 24th day of January being the Feast of St Timohty Bishop of Ephesus in the year of salvation 2014, of the independence of Talossa the 34th, and of Our reign the seventh.

— John Regeu

Börnatfiglheu dobberpuhling

My dear fellow Talossans, I come before you with some extremely grave and unsettling news.

Friday morning, the day before yesterday, the Secretary of State pointed out to me some anomalies in a small group of Wittenberg accounts, six or seven accounts that seemed to be logging in from the same IP addresses. This wouldn’t have been alarming in itself, except that some of the accounts belonged to people in North Carolina and others to people in Michigan, who would certainly not be using the same IPAs. I investigated, and with the greater information available to me as Witt Admin than that available to Sir Iustì, I discovered the problem to be far more serious than Sir Iustì had realized.

The facts are these.

One of our citizens, Eiric S. Börnatfiglheu, has been running 17 different Wittenberg accounts, besides his own, as "sock puppets", all under different names. 15 of his puppets have become citizens. All 18 accounts (his and the 17 puppets’) have been posting sometimes from IPA 152.27.34.201 (which traces to the North Carolina Research and Education Network in Jacksonville, North Carolina) and most often from IPA 174.106.140.126 (which traces to an Internet Service Provider called Road Runner, also in Jacksonville, North Carolina), even though the supposed owners of the accounts live and in some cases work in North Carolina, Michigan, South Carolina, Georgia, New York, Maine, Iowa, and England. Börnatfiglheu lives in Jacksonville, North Carolina, where he works for Coastal Carolina Community College, whose Internet Connections are provided through the North Carolina Research and Education Network. The times and dates at which Wittenberg postings were made from these 18 accounts are closely coordinated. When Börnatfiglheu is active on Wittenberg, so are the 17 puppets; when he's away or inactive, so are all of them; whenever one of them posts something, the others are also likely to post, but long periods pass when none of them posts anything. Whichever IPA he is using at the moment, all the sock puppets use also. The typographical styles of all 18 are quite similar, with certain unusual features in common; ditto their verbal styles.

The sock puppets – 15 citizens and 2 prospectives (the Sawins) – are:

William Beng (Vitxalmour Estinc-Vatna)
Judah Benjamin (Iudas Levì Bentxamì)
Barb Carlin (Barbrà da Carolin)
Sasha Carlyle (Xandreta da Luguvaliüm)
Aaron Clyburn (Aharon Quintana)
Robert Dumenil (Roibeard Istefan Sandart)
Sariah Gipson (Sarac’h Txilvertescu)
Vernon Larsen (Veirnarac’h Lorentzescu)
Caity Lawson (Catrina Curganescu)
Thomas Rushing (Tomás Cariana)
Cameron St Clair (Oltatsch Santa Cjara)
Sven Sawin
Thor Sawin
Benedict Stamford
Nikki Theocharidou (Michi Merþedes da Bheat)
Morris Van Rossum (Moritz Vandalutz d’Ialiüm)
Sandra Yalmin (Sondra Lomaira)

It is possible that some of these people actually exist. For instance, both Thor and Sven Sawin seem to be real people, and are both from the area of Fife Lake and Traverse City, Michigan (where Börnatfiglheu used to live), but they have both moved out of the area. Sven – the real Sven, that is –, works in Ann Arbor, Michigan (not as a bait shop owner in Fife Lake), and Thor is a graduate instructor and PhD candidate in linguistics in South Carolina (not working for the local school district in Fife Lake). So while it’s possible that some of the other names are those of actual people, and it’s even possible some of those people gave Börnatfiglheu permission to use their names, they never posted anything except from one of Börnatfiglheu’s usual IPAs, never joined the Kingdom, never actually became citizens. It was all lies.

Observation through the last couple of evenings reveals Börnatfiglheu’s pattern. Last night, for instance, he logged into his own account at 19:11 (Talossan time), made a posting at 19:11, then logged off at 19:17. Immediately, using the same IPA (174.106.140.126), Benedict Stamford logged on, and off again at 19:18. Then Börnatfiglheu logged on again from 19:18 to 19:29 and from 19:34 to 19:38, making a post at 19:34. Then Sariah Gipson logged onto the same IPA at 19:38, off at 19:48, on again at 19:56, made a post (including rude comments about Börnatfiglheu – part of his game) at 19:56, and logged off one minute later. Thor Sawin logged in, on the same IPA, from 20:11 to 20:16, posting at 20:14; then Börnatfiglheu again from 20:20 to 20:34. And so on, all evening. Gipson, Börnatfiglheu, Lomaira, Larson, Börnatfiglheu again, Thor Sawin, back and forth, all from the same internet connection, one after the other in quick succession.

This deception has been going on at least since early last summer.

The evidence against Börnatfiglheu is overwhelming and absolutely conclusive. (I will of course be making it all public, quite soon.) He has violated the Anti-Imposter and Liar Act (36RZ10) hundreds of times. He has subverted the Talossan electoral system, with eight of his sock puppets voting in the last General Election (all eight for the ZRT), and one of them currently being a ZRT Member of the Cosa. He has played us all for fools, most especially his own political party – which he has betrayed and manipulated – and the College of Arms, having used an enormous amount of volunteer time in obtaining Grants of Arms for most of his sock puppets. He has violated the trust of the entire country.

Anyone with an enabled Witt account can edit or delete his own posts; so in order to preserve the evidence, on Saturday morning I directed the Chancery to obtain an ex parte order to have the 18 accounts suspended. That order was issued by Justice Ian Tamoran, and I as Witt Admin have obeyed it.

After suspending the 18 accounts to preserve the evidence, I (just a few minutes ago) phoned Börnatfiglheu, outlined the evidence against him, and asked him to confess. My thinking was that he could save us all vast amounts of trouble if he would just admit what he’d done. He apologized and said he would “come clean”. I don’t know whether he intends to renounce his citizenship. (If not, I would expect the Attorney General to bring charges against him.) I offered to make a new Wittenberg account available to him if he had anything he wanted to say to everyone; he didn’t seem sure whether he wanted that. We left it that he could let me know.

For what it’s worth – and I’ve closely read almost all the Wittenberg posts made from all the sock puppet accounts ¬– I am personally convinced that this was a one-man operation. I haven’t seen any reason to suspect the involvement of anyone but Börnatfiglheu himself; this is not the tip of some great conspiratorial iceberg. Things being what they are, there will no doubt be political fallout from this mess, coming as it does shortly before a General Election; but nobody should think that the ZRT as a party was in on the deception, nor yet that the RUMP somehow orchestrated its revelation as what we Americans have come to call an “October surprise”. This was Börnatfiglheu, probably without anyone else’s knowledge, acting by himself for his own motives – which may have involved politics, but I think probably were mostly to make himself feel like some kind of big shot, deceiving and manipulating people who liked and trusted him.

I know you’re all shocked. So am I. This is shocking news. We’ll get through it, though.

– John Regeu

Inauguration of Seneschal: Baron Hooligan

 

HEAR YE, HEAR YE!

John, by the Grace of God King of Talossa

will (God willing) swear in

Lord Hooligan (aka Manus Hand)

as Seneschal of the Kingdom of Talossa

for the 44th Cosa.

The Inauguration ceremony will be held

at the Spotted Dog pub,

inside the Inverness Hotel,

200 Inverness Drive West,

Englewood, Colorado 80112

at about 6:30 pm, Thursday 19 July 2012/xxxiii

and will feature much fun,

badinage,

beer,

and a free taco bar.

It is fervently hoped that many of you

will be able to attend this historic event.

King John

Royal Gazette, 14 June 2012/xxxiii: Ordination

As some of y'all may have seen already on Facebook, I will be ordained by Bishop Basil to the diaconate of the Holy Orthodox Church on Sunday July 1, at the Cathedral of St George in Wichita, Kansas. Divine Liturgy will begin at 10am. Everyone is invited, of course.

I don't think my ordination will have much effect in Talossa. Maybe ramp up the heretic-smiting a little, but nothing too dramatic.

— John R

Proclamation of the Province of Fiova

We JOHN by the Grace of God King of Talossa and all its Realms and Regions, King of Cézembre, etc., etc., the Organic requirements for the establishment of a Province having been met by “at least 10 persons” citizens of Talossa having written and approved a Constitution and elected a government, and being Ourselves satisfied as to the Organicity of the proposed Constitution, the Ziu meantime (in cooperation with the Governments of Maritiimi-Maxhestic and Maricopa) having set aside territory for and authorized the establishment of the Province of Fiova by the Proud Mary Act to which We have set our signature, do hereby PROCLAIM THE CONSTITUTION OF THE PROVINCE OF FIOVA, and do instruct Our Chancery with all due speed to transfer to Fiova the Provincial assignments of those citizens authorized to become and desirous of being Fiovans. Furthermore, We do hereby appoint Our loyal citizen Istefan Éovart Perþonest to serve as Our Cunstaval in Fiova, thanking him for his willingness to serve. We are most pleased to congratulate Our right-beloved S:da Miestra Schiva on her election to the Capitansqab of Fiova, to applaud all Our soon-to-be-Fiovan citizens on the establishment of their new Province, and to felicitate with the entire nation on all these happy events and the spirit in which they have been accomplished.

Done under Our hand royal at the city of Denver in Colorado this first day of June being the Feast of St Justin the Philosopher and his companions martyrs at Rome, in the year of salvation 2012, of the independence of Talossa the thirty-third, and of Our reign the sixth.

— John Regeu

Appointments to the Cort pu Inalt: Ian Tamoran and Tímoþi Asmourescu

Pursuant to the requirements of Article XVI, Section IV of the Legeu Orgänic, and with the at least arguable authorization of the recent Time-Traveling Judicial Nomination Act, We John by the Grace of God King of Talossa and of all its Realms and Regions, King of Cézembre, Sovereign Lord and Protector of Pengöpäts and the New Falklands, Defender of the Faith, Leader of the Armed Forces, Viceroy of Hoxha and Vicar of Atatürk, do hereby appoint Sir Tamoran dal Nava, UrN, as Senior Justice of the Cort pü Inalt del Regipäts Talossan, and further do appoint S:reu Ian Tamoran as Puisne Justice of the same Cort. (One notes with amusement the fact that for now, the entire Cort is made up of Tamorans ... Tamoraes?) And further, We do indicate Our approval of the nomination of Senator Tímoþi Asmourescu to the other vacant seat, and Our intention to appoint him thereto as soon as the Organic bar to his appointment is removed.

Congratulations and thanks to S:reu Tamoran and S:reu Tamoran.

Done under Our hand royal at the city of Denver in Colorado, this last day of May, being the Octave of the Lord's Ascension (according to the Orthodox paschalion), in the year of salvation 2012, of the independence of Talossa the thirty-third, and of Our reign the sixth.

— John R

Writ of Dissolution of the 43rd Cosa

We JOHN by the Grace of God King of Talossa and of all its Realms and Regions, King of Cézembre, Sovereign Lord and Protector of Pengöpäts and the New Falklands, Defender of the Faith, Leader of the Armed Forces, Viceroy of Hoxha and Vicar of Atatürk, having thought fit to dissolve this present forty-third Cosa of the Kingdom of Talossa, do to that end publish this Our proclamation royal, hereby dissolving the said Cosa accordingly; and do discharge and excuse the Members of that Cosa from their meeting and attendance thereat from Tuesday the twenty-second day of this May instant. And We being desirous and resolved for the better governance of these Our realms to have the advice of Our people in the Ziu assembled, do hereby make known to all Our loyal commons, knights, and nobles Our royal will and pleasure to call and assemble a new Cosa, and do hereby further declare that We have given order that Our Chancery and Secretary of State do forthwith issue out writs and ballots in due form, and according to law, for the election of a new forty-fourth Cosa as well as Senators for the provinces of Benito, Maritiimi-Maxhestic, and Fiova.

Further, We would most heartily thank and congratulate, on Our own behalf and that of the entire Talossan nation, those citizens who were called to serve in this now-dissolved forty-third Cosa — surely one of the most notable in all our National history —, especially thanking the Most Honourable S:da Litz Cjantscheir once again for her two terms of eminent service as Our Seneschal, her Distain Our well-beloved Ma la Mha Lord Hooligan, and all the other members of the Government. Further thanks are due to S:reu Bradley Holmes, whose term in the Senäts is now drawing to a close, Sir Mick Preston, who seems to leave the Senäts at *every* election, and to S:reu Tímoþi Asmourescu, who (We find Ourselves eerily certain) will very soon resign from the Senäts in order to take up another, incompatible, office.

Done by Our hand royal at the city of Denver in Colorado, this thirty-first day of May being the Octave of the Ascension in the year of salvation 2012, of the independence of Talossa the thirty-third, and of our reign the sixth.

— John Regeu

Temporary Royal Absence

The King and Queen plan to travel early (terribly early) tomorrow morning to Seattle, Washington, there to visit Prince Andrew and Princess Gelsey and the newest addition to the Royal Family, Prince Julian (born to Andrew and Gelsey on May 8). The King will be reachable by telephone should any emergency transpire, but indicates his intention not to read Witt or check email much while in Seattle. The King and Queen will return to the palace one week from today.

La Caciun Naziunal, informed that she will have to sleep by herself for a few days, wagged her tail and asked for a cookie.

King John

Change in Handling Cosa Reassignments

The OrgLaw (VII.9) says:

In the case of vacant seats occurring between elections, the Secretary of State shall inform the King and the leader of whatever party held the vacant seat. The King shall appoint a replacement to each vacancy. If the seat belonged to a party with a functioning party leader, the King must appoint as a replacement whichever person shall be so designated by that party's leader. If there is no functioning party leader, or if the party leader refuses to designate a replacement, the King shall appoint the replacement according to his own best judgement.

It has been pointed out by S:reu Earnest, and he's right, that our customary way of carrying out the reassignment of party seats during a Cosa no longer resembles very closely the process envisaged by this Law. Typically these days, an MC posts "I release 4 of my seats", the Party Leader posts "Appoint Joe Blow", and the Secretary of State simply updates the lists with S:reu Blow listed as holding those seats. I have been content with this arrangement, regarding the Secretary of State's listings as being tantamount to my actions, but I now think that was sloppy of me.

For the sake of better compliance with the OrgLaw, and in order to achieve greater pomposity and formality, I would like the Chancery, from now on, to issue a formal appointment of the replacement MC to the vacant seats, in my name and under my seal. ("Therefore, King John hereby appoints ...") If there are several "switches" occurring simultaneously, I see no reason to require separate documents.

Thanks to all.

— John R

Joint Announcement from King John and Miestrâ Schivâ Regarding Reunion

Seven and a half years ago, the Kingdom of Talossa suffered the loss of a number of valuable citizens, who (provoked by the misbehaviour of the King of Talossa) left the Kingdom to form the Talossan Republic. Since that time, many newcomers to Talossa have joined the Republic and have lived and flourished there, together with the original "rebels", proudly identifying themselves as Talossans even though they were never citizens of the Kingdom. This division in our nation, however necessary it was, has always been a matter of regret and sorrow to patriotic Talossans in both groups.

On this 32nd anniversary of the establishment of the Kingdom of Talossa, we the undersigned, the King of Talossa and the President of the Talossan Republic, are very pleased to reveal publicly that last month, at the initiative of leading citizens of the Republic — an initiative which was immediately and warmly welcomed by the leaders of the Kingdom —, informal talks began, with the aim of finding ways to facilitate the unification of the Talossan people in a single state by the admission of the Republic's citizenry to citizenship in the Kingdom. The talks, thanks to great goodwill on both sides, have gone very well. We are happy to announce that, pending the successful conclusion of these discussions, the Talossan Republic will be formally dissolved, and every one of its citizens who desires it welcomed into full citizenship in the Kingdom of Talossa. Some of the details have yet to be worked out, and some enabling legislation passed by the Ziu and by the General Assembly of the Republic, but both Governments are enthusiastically behind the plan. Our aim and intention is clear — one Talossan people, and one Talossan state.

Each of the former Republicans will be admitted as a citizen of the Province of his or her own choice; but it is our mutual intention that those who desire to maintain something of their "rebel culture" within the Kingdom will organize an eighth Province, which will serve them as a sort of local center of their Talossan activity. Regardless of Provincial citizenship, they will all be full citizens of the Kingdom, living under the King and the Organic Law, and participating fully in all aspects of our joint national life — cultural, political, and social.

This rapprochement is not to be regarded as some kind of conquest or surrender or Borg-like assimilation, but rather as the reception into the Kingdom of a group of good Talossans who have been, up until now, politically separated from the larger group of their co-nationalists. We fervently hope, and we firmly believe, that the "reunision" of the Kingdom and the Republic will usher in a new era in the history of our beloved nation, and allow us to reach unprecedented heights in our pursuit and enjoyment of our shared Talossanity.

John Regeu and Miestrâ Schivâ

Royal Proclamation on Forgiveness and Apologies

ROYAL PROCLAMATION

I John, King of Talossa, speaking for myself and on behalf of my Crown and my Kingdom, hereby apologise most sincerely for the unconscionable acts and writings of Robert I, my predecessor on the Talossan throne, which he committed against all the citizens of Talossa, thereby staining the honour of the Kingdom and of his Crown, and causing many faithful citizens to feel impelled to rebel against the Kingdom and, renouncing their citizenship, to establish the Talossan Republic. Most especially are apologies due, and I therefore most especially and most sincerely apologise, to Sir Chirisch Caveir (known recently as Sir Tamoran Curt Gödafrïeusefiglheu dal Nava) for the gross slanders, lies, and abuse so unjustly, crassly, and dishonourably heaped upon him by the malice of the former King.

Furthermore, I hereby promise as King of Talossa to introduce in the Ziu, and to work energetically for the earliest possible passage of, an Act of Oblivion, forbidding the Talossan judicial system from taking any notice of any allegedly criminal act taking place in or before the year 2004 and connected to or stemming from the rebellion of that year or the establishment of the Talossan Republic. And should the Prime Minister issue a similar act of immunity or oblivion in the form of a Prime Dictate, I will ratify it.

And lastly, I hereby promise on my honour as King of Talossa, that if – notwithstanding these barriers to prosecution, and the Statute of Limitations enacted into Talossan criminal law by 42RZ11, etc. – anyone should ever be convicted of any offense for his participation in, or activity stemming from, the rebellion of 2004, I will issue him a full and free pardon; at the same time stating that I feel quite sure that no such pardon will prove necessary.

These apologies and promises I make freely, and post simultaneously on the forums of the Kingdom of Talossa and the Talossan Republic, in the pursuit of simple justice, and in the hope of promoting goodwill among all Talossans.

Done under Our hand royal, this 6th day of December being the Feast of Saint Nicholas the Wonderworker of Myra, in the year of salvation 2011, of the independence of Talossa the 32nd, and of Our reign the 5th.

– John Regeu

Final Report of the Reunision Commission

My fellow Talossans --

As you are all aware, on 1 December of last year, representatives from the Talossan Republic approached me and our nation's government with a confidential "modest proposal". This proposal inaugurated discussions to determine a basis for the "reunision" of the two groups of Talossans under the flag of the Kingdom. The government and I were immediately receptive and a plan was formed to create a six-member Commission that would discuss and decide any preliminary issues, discuss relevant details, and topple any preliminary hurdles.

As for what those details are, the "modest proposal" laid out three guiding principles, which the Kingdom immediately embraced.

Discussion on the first of these principles, a guarantee that all Republican Talossans be welcomed, centered on the issue of citizenship dates for citizens whose first date of entry into the Talossan culture differs (as is the case for some Republican Talossans) from the date of Kingdom citizenship. This detail was recently decided in favour of recognising this first-date for all persons of all Talossan heritage, and indeed, all Republican Talossans, when "reunision" occurs, will carry with them their acknowledged Talossan tenure.

The second principle, concerning the right of Republican Talossans to continue their peculiar culture, led to discussion around planning for the possibility that an eighth province might be established after "reunision", to provide a possible "territorial autonomy" for those Republican Talossans who wish to become citizens of such a new province. Since there are a number of different possibilities as to how such an eighth province could be formed, and since the creation of a new province is already possible under current law, the members of the Commission have decided that any action on this issue will be taken by the united citizens of Talossa after "reunision" has occurred. To this end, the Commission asks for the inauguration of an open discussion, so that all Talossans can present any ideas or proposals regarding these possibilities. While "reunision" need not wait, such discussions will perhaps form a basis for actions that will be taken at a provincial level at some point in our common future. To help best achieve this goal, the Kingdom has modified the Immigration law to allow that Republican Talossans be permitted to choose their province of citizenship, so that those who wish to congregate together to form a new province from an existing one might work together with citizens of any province that might be "split".

The final principle surrounded the rescinding of the indictments for treason against the leaders of the Revolution/Secession of 2004/xxv which were handed down by the previous Rouerguian regime, and the Kingdom was only too happy to take all possible steps to put the unfortunate incidents of those years decidedly in the past, quashing and condemning the acts of King Robert I, and making it clear in no uncertain terms that no charges regarding the events sparked by those acts are to be contemplated.

Thus, with these details resolved, and with agreement that the ground is now fully prepared, it is my happy privilege to come before all Talossans today to report the successful conclusion of the business of this historic Commission. All six members of the Commission lift their glasses to toast its success with you, as, with the details hammered out, we now proceed as a united people to the actual accomplishment of "reunision".

For the Kingdom, I must repeat to all Republican Talossans our most heartfelt welcome, and our inexpressible gratitude for the "modest proposal" on which the future of our proud Talossan culture now firmly rests.

— John R