Royal Proclamation on Forgiveness and Apologies

ROYAL PROCLAMATION

I John, King of Talossa, speaking for myself and on behalf of my Crown and my Kingdom, hereby apologise most sincerely for the unconscionable acts and writings of Robert I, my predecessor on the Talossan throne, which he committed against all the citizens of Talossa, thereby staining the honour of the Kingdom and of his Crown, and causing many faithful citizens to feel impelled to rebel against the Kingdom and, renouncing their citizenship, to establish the Talossan Republic. Most especially are apologies due, and I therefore most especially and most sincerely apologise, to Sir Chirisch Caveir (known recently as Sir Tamoran Curt Gödafrïeusefiglheu dal Nava) for the gross slanders, lies, and abuse so unjustly, crassly, and dishonourably heaped upon him by the malice of the former King.

Furthermore, I hereby promise as King of Talossa to introduce in the Ziu, and to work energetically for the earliest possible passage of, an Act of Oblivion, forbidding the Talossan judicial system from taking any notice of any allegedly criminal act taking place in or before the year 2004 and connected to or stemming from the rebellion of that year or the establishment of the Talossan Republic. And should the Prime Minister issue a similar act of immunity or oblivion in the form of a Prime Dictate, I will ratify it.

And lastly, I hereby promise on my honour as King of Talossa, that if – notwithstanding these barriers to prosecution, and the Statute of Limitations enacted into Talossan criminal law by 42RZ11, etc. – anyone should ever be convicted of any offense for his participation in, or activity stemming from, the rebellion of 2004, I will issue him a full and free pardon; at the same time stating that I feel quite sure that no such pardon will prove necessary.

These apologies and promises I make freely, and post simultaneously on the forums of the Kingdom of Talossa and the Talossan Republic, in the pursuit of simple justice, and in the hope of promoting goodwill among all Talossans.

Done under Our hand royal, this 6th day of December being the Feast of Saint Nicholas the Wonderworker of Myra, in the year of salvation 2011, of the independence of Talossa the 32nd, and of Our reign the 5th.

– John Regeu

Final Report of the Reunision Commission

My fellow Talossans --

As you are all aware, on 1 December of last year, representatives from the Talossan Republic approached me and our nation's government with a confidential "modest proposal". This proposal inaugurated discussions to determine a basis for the "reunision" of the two groups of Talossans under the flag of the Kingdom. The government and I were immediately receptive and a plan was formed to create a six-member Commission that would discuss and decide any preliminary issues, discuss relevant details, and topple any preliminary hurdles.

As for what those details are, the "modest proposal" laid out three guiding principles, which the Kingdom immediately embraced.

Discussion on the first of these principles, a guarantee that all Republican Talossans be welcomed, centered on the issue of citizenship dates for citizens whose first date of entry into the Talossan culture differs (as is the case for some Republican Talossans) from the date of Kingdom citizenship. This detail was recently decided in favour of recognising this first-date for all persons of all Talossan heritage, and indeed, all Republican Talossans, when "reunision" occurs, will carry with them their acknowledged Talossan tenure.

The second principle, concerning the right of Republican Talossans to continue their peculiar culture, led to discussion around planning for the possibility that an eighth province might be established after "reunision", to provide a possible "territorial autonomy" for those Republican Talossans who wish to become citizens of such a new province. Since there are a number of different possibilities as to how such an eighth province could be formed, and since the creation of a new province is already possible under current law, the members of the Commission have decided that any action on this issue will be taken by the united citizens of Talossa after "reunision" has occurred. To this end, the Commission asks for the inauguration of an open discussion, so that all Talossans can present any ideas or proposals regarding these possibilities. While "reunision" need not wait, such discussions will perhaps form a basis for actions that will be taken at a provincial level at some point in our common future. To help best achieve this goal, the Kingdom has modified the Immigration law to allow that Republican Talossans be permitted to choose their province of citizenship, so that those who wish to congregate together to form a new province from an existing one might work together with citizens of any province that might be "split".

The final principle surrounded the rescinding of the indictments for treason against the leaders of the Revolution/Secession of 2004/xxv which were handed down by the previous Rouerguian regime, and the Kingdom was only too happy to take all possible steps to put the unfortunate incidents of those years decidedly in the past, quashing and condemning the acts of King Robert I, and making it clear in no uncertain terms that no charges regarding the events sparked by those acts are to be contemplated.

Thus, with these details resolved, and with agreement that the ground is now fully prepared, it is my happy privilege to come before all Talossans today to report the successful conclusion of the business of this historic Commission. All six members of the Commission lift their glasses to toast its success with you, as, with the details hammered out, we now proceed as a united people to the actual accomplishment of "reunision".

For the Kingdom, I must repeat to all Republican Talossans our most heartfelt welcome, and our inexpressible gratitude for the "modest proposal" on which the future of our proud Talossan culture now firmly rests.

— John R

Seneschal's Address to the Nation 10/2/10

Citizens:

There are some species of sea stars that can reproduce by fragmenting themselves. A piece or whole arm of the star is torn away by malice or accident, and is swept away in the currents. But sometimes the piece spends its remaining resources to grow a new stomach and digestive system, in a budding pouch-like body, and continues life. Eventually the piece regrows the rest of its body, duplicating the flesh it had once been a part of. The old starfish continues, while a new one has sprung up from just a scattered piece of flesh. It's a brilliant system: a tiny investment in resources for a potentially large return to the species.

According to legend, a group of fishermen - unhappy with some starfishs' impact on their mollusk catch - would wake early and trap starfish. They'd take their thick knives and cut the starfish into pieces, tossing the pieces away. But unbeknownst to them, they were really just helping the starfish, whose population swelled in response.

We can learn from the starfish in several ways.

First: have you told a friend about Talossa? Maybe not. Maybe you're afraid they'll think it's weird or think you're weird. Maybe they'll mock you?

Let me assure you that any mocking will be dwarfed by their interest. It's a fascinating, cool life we lead - one that not a lot of people ever get to experience. In all the world, we are unique. And since there are so very many people, that's often a hard claim to make. But it's true: there are only a handful of Talossans, and you are among their proud ranks. If you bear that pride with you and show it when speaking of your country, people will respond accordingly. And even if they don't decide to join Talossa, you will have spread knowledge about it. It's a small investment of your time, scattering out a little piece of yourself into the oceans. But it may repay you in a big way, with a brand-new Talossan someday coming into being. You can be a part of that. Try telling a friend, today.

Second: there has been fear over the efforts of Robert Madison, our deposed first monarch and founder. It's only a little fear and not very widespread (many new citizens know him only by the whispers and histories) but it has been heard. I say to you now that we should not fear. Conflict has always helped Talossa. The Cone War became a glorious legend. The riotous arguments of the departure of the Penguineans/Republicans spurred vast growth and brought the country out of Robert I's direct mastery. And the demands of Robert I for the membership rolls of the CLP eventually forced his abdication. We as a nation have only grown when challenged. We have the plain, unvarnished, glorious truth on our side. We have nothing to fear now except an opportunity to rise to the challenge.

Third, and finally: my father often told me a story about starfish, one that can serve us. In a low voice and with a half smile, he would speak:

Once there was a young boy who lived by the sea, in a narrow harbor. He was a quiet but happy boy, who loved the play on the shore. But he noticed that whenever there was a storm, starfish would wash up on the shore by the thousands. They'd be caught in the currents and deposited by the waves, and the next day they would die.

The boy began rising very early in the morning, every day after a storm, and going down to the shore. His breath steaming in the morning chill, he'd pick up starfish and throw them back in the water, to give them another chance. Bend down, pick one up, walk to the water, throw it in, walk back, and do it again. Over the course of a morning before school, he'd managed to throw in perhaps fifty or a hundred starfish.

An old sailor had seen him do this, many times, as he brought his boat in after a night trawling the depths with a net. It was frustrating to watch the boy's futile efforts, and even a little annoying. What was the point, after all? One day, the old sailor hurled aside his net and stalked up to the boy, demanding, "Boy, I see you do this every morning after a storm! Look at all these starfish! You could do this all day and never get them all. Nearly every one will die! What difference does it make?"

The boy threw a starfish into the water, and replied, "Made a difference to him."

Remember that you are Talossan. You are part of something very special. When you spread the word about Talossa, you are helping make the lives of others a little more special, too. It might not make a difference to everyone, but it will make a difference to some.

Long live the King, and long live Talossa!

Alexander Davis
Seneschal del Regipäts Talossan

Seneschal's Address to the Nation 9/2/10

Citizens:

Imagine, if you will, the following conversation taking place on an elevator, somewhere in the world.

"Oh, hello. Hey, that pretzel looks great. Where did you get it?"
	"Over at the stand on the third floor. It's pretty good."
"Cool. Hey, what's that?"
	"Oh, that's a pin for Talossa. It's a real country that has an army, and I'm the Seneschal which is like the leader of our real government! And we do limericks in our language and stuff. Talossa... no, with a long "o." No, we don't have a bunker or guns. We have a King though. No, I don't really live there, but in my heart I do."
"....I have to go now."
	"But we do heraldry! LOOK AT MY COAT OF ARMS!"

Despite my eagerness and obvious love for my country, Cindi Lauper thinks I am crazy.  And she is perhaps not unjustified in thinking so.  When asked about Talossa - a thing that is unusual and new to most strangers - all I can do is give a rambling and semi-coherent spiel of nonsense.  If this is what you heard, you probably wouldn't want to join, either.

But that's not the way it should be.  I am calling for two initiatives that I will personally be the first to engage in.

Firstly, I want some display of Talossanity.  We're getting flags and bumper-stickers and shirts and pins back on the market this term with the relaunch of TalossaWare, and ideally we'll be getting a lot of orders.  But even if you can't do that, then you can still show your adopted country off.  If you belong to a social network like Facebook, then broadcast about Talossa a few times.  If you have a blog, write a post about it.  If you belong to a message board, put up a thread about it.  The bottom line is that I urge every citizen to take the time to show off Talossa in their life.

I have my "I ♥ Talossa" button from TalossaWare, and I will be wearing it on my backpack and on my jacket.

Secondly, let's all develop "elevator speeches" to go with our newfound display.  This is a succinct and compelling summary of Talossa, so called because it's short enough to give during the length of an elevator ride.  It should be low-key but intriguing, so as to get their attention without seeming too bizarre.

So when someone asks me about my button, I'll be ready to reply with something that won't scare them off.  Everyone should have their own version - depending on where you are and what inspires you about your country - but mine will go something like this:

"Oh, 'Talossa' is the name of a country of which I'm a citizen.  It's just like bigger countries with a flag and government, but it's small enough so that everyone can participate.  It even has its own language and stuff.  It has several books published about it and it's been around since 1979, which is also cool.  It's a lot of fun!  If you want to know more, I can give you the website."

I'd love to hear some other examples from participating citizens, and to know people will be helping out Talossa.  But I will still be content even if it's only me and my button and my few words.

As mentioned, we're going to be rolling out more gear to get this going, along with the immediately-impending stamp issuance.  Talossans may be slow to wake up out of this summer, but we're going to have some serious alarm clocks ringing soon!

Long live the King, and long live Talossa!

Alexander Davis
Seneschal del Regipäts Talossan

A Few Words from the Ministry of Finance

The fine words of our Seneschal were more than a call to arms to Talossans near and far. They were a reminder that even as summer takes its traditionally-slowing toll on Witt, your Government continues to work behind the scenes.

I recently spiffed-up the Ministry of Finance webpage. Though the update was largely cosmetic, it is also meant to serve as a reminder that Project Insufficient Postage is near completion! Despite taking a bit longer than we had hoped, I am pleased to say we are tantalizingly near the production of official Kingdom postage stamps.

You will also note the announcement of the new Project Easy Money, by which we will create a much easier method for the Kingdom to collect money, for party registration fees as well as for ordering stamps, currency, and commemoratives. I hope to see this system ready for use before the end of September.

As always, I welcome your input, suggestions, and questions, and I can be reached at FinanceMinister@KingdomOfTalossa.net.

Danihel Forestal
Minister of Finance
Chairman, Royal Bank & Post

Seneschal's Address to the Nation 8/2/10

Citizens:

I want you to come out of the closet.

Let me explain. It is summer. Humidity and temperatures are high in our fair nation of Talossa and for many citizens-in-exile around the world. And as frequently happens, activity in our country has dipped in response to vacations and activities. We shouldn't let this disappoint us or surprise us - it's a change as regular as the shifts in the seasons themselves. But we must not let ourselves get into the habit.

When an email arrives, sometimes we read it and set it aside. "I'll reply in the morning," we say.

Or we stop checking Wittenberg for a while. "It'll still be there next week and it's quiet now anyway."

Or we get a voicemail and never bother to reply. "It's Talossa, it can't be that important."

Now, there's no requirement to "do Talossa" in order to be Talossan. We are proud to support your right to just be a citizen, requiring no more effort or thought than a "present" vote every other year. Just like in every country, you get to choose how involved you are.

But remember why you joined Talossa. You probably didn't do it because you wanted to just list it on your curriculum vitae. You were probably fascinated by the language, interested in the astonishing history, or amused by the citizenry. In short, you liked doing Talossa.

But even things we like can require effort. So we ignore that email, that message board, that call. Just like a pair of skis can sit in the attic or the chessboard can gather dust in a drawer, so can Talossa be in your mental closet. You love the language, but why bother translating a Dickinson poem into Talossan? Something good might be on television. Or you like politics, but reading the debates on issues just takes too long, and you want to finish your book. Better to just leave the whole Talossa thing up on that shelf in the closet.

No! Get Talossa out of that closet!

Make some Talossan puns!
How did Iusti rise to the head of the party? By typing in all cäps!

Jump-start your province!
I propose that we eliminate the legislature and invest all provincial power in me.

Or just be silly!
Yes, I would like to join the DPD/PDP.

Get Talossa out of your mental closet, and back into your life! You'll remember why you love it so much.

Upcoming Events

Let me state in brief the momentous things we look to: this month we will see the finalization of stamps and the relaunch of the TalossaWare line. Stamps have been a long time coming, and frozen due to legal uncertainties. But the work is done, so we're going to pull the trigger. TalossaWare has also lingered in obscurity, but I for one love my Talossa buttons and want to see a flag available for purchase. We're getting that done, too.

On an unrelated note, I also look forward to the work of the Electoral Investigative Committee, which is scheduled to report in three days on the feasibility of new methods of voting such as IRV. Our voting methods have long been an important issue in Talossa, and some study of how they might be reformed is a valuable thing.

Long live the King, and long live Talossa!

Alexander Davis
Seneschal del Regipäts Talossan

Seneschal's Address to the Nation 7/2/10

Citizens:

Our history has much to teach us about our present.

In 1990/X, Wes Erni was selected as the Progressive Conservative Prime Minister, backed by King Robert I. It was Erni's selection that established as unofficial law the pattern of Talossan politics before the Great Abdication: Robert I's party always wins, eventually.

Prior to Erni, of course, there had been many PC victories. Right back to the first Seneschal, the PC had always been the single most potent force in Talossan politics. But it was with Erni that we see this grey law come into its own. The King was omnipresent, remorseless, and in his view embodied the whole of Talossan culture and history - how could anyone really oppose him? Moreover, he had longevity and consistency - Robert I presented a figure that voters associated with stability. And most effectively, the King used his clout with the heaviest hand he could manage.

After Erni, the record becomes dire. Read the successive parties voted into office: PC, PC, Un-named, PC, PC, PC, PC, PC, PC, PC, PaF, PC, PC, and PC. When at this point in history, Robert I began backing Manus Nigrum instead, the record shifted slightly: MN, PC, MN, I, MN, and (in the last election under Robert I) CLP. Opposition and rival parties were temporary and soon collapsed, [i]never once[/i] succeeding to a second term in office. The Royal party - be it PC or MN - was the only continuity known to the Talossan citizens.

In our current era, this grey law is a thing of the past. The King endorses no political party and has a light hand, taking care to be apart from the squabbles of politics. And while the RUMP has won the past few elections, the Progressive Party of Talossa has emerged as a rival, combining several opposition parties into one main thrust whose continuity is a valuable thing. Margins have been narrow, and while I'm not urging a toppling of the RUMP just yet, I think all know it won't be too far away (perhaps in as soon as twenty years, when I leave power and retire to my mountain stronghold).

In preparation for this day and out of recognition of a new world of Talossan politics, my Government has been taking steps to institutionalize our institutions. Rather than vesting the keys to our Kingdom with individuals, we intend to craft viable ways to hand over power in the future. Let's review some of them.

• Disclosures - The Government has created a blog, Notiçieir del Regipäts Talossan, whose administration can be easily handed over to an incoming government. This will maintain continuity of governance, so citizens can still look at past efforts and our record, while also eliminating a lot of the busy-work of setting such things up. Further, the Government has established a calendar of events and projects in a simple format that is easily copied. A new administration (be it RUMP or PPT) won't have to worry about how things are done, because they'll have examples laid out. And citizens won't have to worry about keeping track of a bunch of new things, because the institutions will carry over to a new government.
• Policy - By creating a central (although still on the simple side) policy bank, this Government is allowing people to find a quick place to reference some of the trickier or more disputed elements of our public policies. What is the nature of our country? What is our policy towards the Republic? These questions (and more future ones) can be found on this page. And a future administration can change them or add new ones - or maintain them, without having to work through and write them again.
• Symbols - Our Minister of Stuff, Dréu Gavártgic'h, has been working with the inestimable College of Arms to create numerous new coats of arms for each Ministry. By the end of the term, this endeavour will be complete (it's already ahead of schedule!) When combined with letterheads and templates, these symbols will give Talossans a feeling of security and remind them that they're not just dealing with Jahn Q. Talossan: they're dealing with a Talossan official.

This Government is forward-thinking, and working to make sure that our democracy remains strong. Support us and your country by getting involved in language, culture, or government.

Long live the King, and long live Talossa!

Alexander Davis
Seneschal del Regipäts Talossan